In today’s world there is so much competing for our attention and energy. Taking time for ourselves seems like we have to go into the bathroom and sit on the commode to get a minute’s peace. Guilt is instilled on us from the time we are little to think of others rather than ourselves. While it is good to give our love and attention to another, it is not health to do it at the cost of our own well-being both physically and mentally.
There comes a time in your life when the screams of heartache become so loud from within that you can do nothing else but either repress them or express them. The screams that are repressed kept buried underneath your addictions such as food, gambling, sex or porn, drinking, drugs (both legal drugs such as antidepressants or painkillers or illegal such as cocaine, ecstasy or painkillers) and even work replacement and form of hiding.
A man was once a boy in tune with his desires that didn’t last long. From infancy most boys have been prevented from listening to their own cries. Many were told to stop crying because crying is for sissies and you will sound like a girl. Many parents would spank to stop the cries while others would rough them up to make them into tough men.
Later schools provided similar training to get in line and be obedient and walk in straight line. Don’t question authority and do not speak until given permission. On the fields of sports boys were taught to be aggressive to get the prize. Go for the goal and run over anyone who gets in your way.
Competition for approval from parents and their agendas, authority figures, and peers continued to add to the need to armor from feelings and emotions.
Girls and their needs complicated the emotional rise around puberty when boys’ hearts felt the internal confliction of being a tough guy and the need to get close by being tender to express and feel liked and loved.
It took guts to let down the defenses and become open enough for the few who mastered the dance between being masculine while allowing the feminine to open them up to the joys of the heart. Vulnerability is scary. Sharing feelings and emotions is something to be done in a safe place and while most men can look back and it depends on how they were treated when they finally did open up.
If the Walls of Jericho came down and there was a snotty little girl there who just wanted what she wanted and with no concern for the boy’s feelings took advantage then he was scared for sometimes a lifetime. Also mother’s can also do this to their boys.
It is no wonder that men feel safe in their caves hiding out to keep safe from threats that can cut even the strongest of men down to their knees.
Intimacy is longed by every man and the question is, “How he can feel it if he has so many internal conflicts programmed in his psyche that alarm his to the dangers as soon as he begins to engage in expressing his feeling and emotions?”
Feeling is similar a double edged sword. You have to be willing to feel it all. The good. The Not So Good. The Down Right Painful. The whole range of feelings because if you are continually stuffing all the bad ones down so you don’t have to feel them you eventually become numb and depressed. Your energy will be drained and life loses its zest appeal. One day rolls into the next and before you know it, years have gone by.
Good men everywhere are crying inside and dying on the outside.
What has to happen?
Expression rather than suppression has to happen.
Now the key question everyone asks, “How?”
How does one open Pandora’s Box without being consumed and swept away in the flood of surfacing emotions? Well you are already enslaved by guilt, shame and grief. Guilt is the lowest emotion on the scale of human emotions measured by a brilliant scientist, David Hawkins PHD, in his work on the “Map of Consciousness”. The “Map of Consciousness” incorporates findings from quantum physics and nonlinear dynamics, thereby confirming the classical “stages” of spiritual evolution found in the world’s sacred literature as actual “attractor fields.” You will attract to you more of what vibration you are putting out.
The “Map of Consciousness” illumines heretofore unknown aspects of consciousness. With each progressive rise in the level of consciousness, the “frequency” or “vibration” of energy increases. Thus, higher consciousness radiates a beneficial and healing effect on the world, verifiable in the human muscle response which stays strong in the presence of love and truth. In contrast, non–true or negative energy fields which “calibrate” below the level of integrity induce a weak muscle response. This stunning discovery of the difference between “power” and “force” has influenced numerous fields of human endeavor: business, advertising, education, psychology, medicine, law, and international relations.
First you must awaken and become aware of what you are experiencing. It is time to wake the hell up and get out of the stupor that you have been in.
Ask yourself, “What am I feeling?”
Some of the first to arise are rage and anger. You don’t know what you are snapping everyone’s head off and wanting to hurt someone because your energy is low.
You are in SURVIVAL!
If another person asks you for something or to do something for them you might just have to lash out but most times you don’t because you have been taught to please others and be a good boy. You have spent a lifetime of seeking gratification and approval outside of yourself and it has had huge costs that over time are killing you. SLOWLY!
You are like the frog and the pot of water. If the frog is put into the pot with cold water and the temperature is slowly increased over time then the frog will stay in the pot and die slowly. If the frog is put into a pot of hot water he will jump right back out to safety and escape the quick death.
You are slowly dying in your compliancy to stay numb and asleep. You are grieving your own SOUL.
Your pride keeps you from facing that you bought into the illusion. You keep going because that is what you are supposed to do until the pain gets too much and something happens to wake you up. For many it is too late and physical aliment or disease happens like a heart attack or cancer.
For you it might be the death of your marriage, a loved one or even yourself.
It is time to wake up before it is too late.
You have to develop the courage to make you and your dreams more important than the dreams of others. You will need to be brave beyond the fear of showing your most vulnerable side to others. You have buried yourself long ago when you buried your feelings and emotions.
You have to be willing to feel your deepest pain to begin to feel the richness of your pleasure. If you don’t you might as well be flat lined and dead.
Pandora’s Box will not consume you. The world will not laugh at you when you cry. Quite the contrary it will embrace you.
There are ways to create a safe and sacred place for you to begin to FEEL again. If you want to be alone and be in a private space you can journal and ask yourself questions to explore your suppressed feelings.
You can attend workshops, retreats, or conferences that are designed to awaken you to beliefs, thoughts, and actions that are keeping you on the treadmill of life.
You can hire a life coach that has specialized awareness and training that can explore your life with you and help guide you towards your dreams.
Another specialized field that is emerging in the Conceptual Age where ideas are the new currency is Muses. A muse keeps herself in the highest state of vibration. She is like a spark plug and her purpose is to inspire you. Once you are in her presence you have access to more awareness, greater potential and more of your own power. How this happens is in the realm of mysterious. For centuries Muses have been used to inspire music, art and business ventures.
Today muses are thought of as a man’s secret weapon. He gains access to an unlimited supply of innovation and creativity that unleashes his potential to new heights. His productivity will increase and his profits will soar.
The 21st Century man invests in himself and his well-being. He surrounds himself with the tools that will assist him at being at the top of his game. By being awake and integrating his heart (feelings) with his mind he is aware of how much his feeling and intuition will guide him in his decision making from the boardroom and the bedroom.